Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

When I was a little boy, I used to watch a couple of my dad’s brothers with curiosity.   They were so outgoing and carefree.  And drunk too most of the time.  The beers just enhanced who they were though – something I believe is true for all drunks. They were huge men and they [...]

He took a long slow slip of his Chardonnay.  It was a great night – he couldn’t think of a single thing to make it better.  Well maybe one thing.  A girl he’d been seeing.   He loved her smile, and her unpredictable thoughts.  And her long long legs.  He realized that he missed her. [...]

Spameteria

Posted: December 27, 2011 in humor, Life
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The extent to which people will go to separate you from your money is ridiculously amazing sometimes. I was thinking about this when it got to be time to go through and see the fish caught in the helpful spam net provided by WordPress – comments that never made it to my blogs because of [...]

The final campsite looked over the water of the lake to the west.  When we found it initially I was just glad we had found something.  A place to set up our tent.  I had no idea of the beauty we were going to eventually see.  I’m sure Angie did.  Not me though – my [...]

(This is a continuation of the story of our summer canoe trip.  If you missed the first one, go here) As long as I could remember, I had a fear of bugs.   Not the kind of stand-on-the-chair-hold-your-skirts-and-scream-like-a-little-girl fear.  No, it was a dread that went bone-deep.   A loathing that made my mouth go [...]

Have to admit:  since moving in to the new place I find I’m falling more and more in heavy like with it.  Not yet willing to pilot the boat to the end of the Tunnel of “Love” just yet.  Give it time. Oh there are a few little annoyances.  Like the fact that the laundry [...]

Rocky Romances

Posted: August 19, 2011 in dating, humor, Life
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Look, Monday.  You can’t keep showing up on my doorstep.  Every time you do, you say the same thing. “We can make it work.” And, “I promise you, this time I won’t mess you up.  I’ll set the alarm this time.  Make you some coffee.” Every time, I let you in, and every time – [...]

Release

Posted: June 24, 2011 in humor, Life, living, writing
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The capricious breeze sauntered carelessly through his stubborn hair, pushing this way and that until the dogged gel that was holding everything together finally sighed, shrugged its shoulders and gave up.  Whereupon, the follicle company, mimicking the primordial warrior dance of the galaxies, began its mad performance. The hair’s owner, oblivious to the upper level [...]

Wolf-Yoga

Posted: May 14, 2011 in humor, Life

I’m going to invent a new type of discipline.  Going to call it Wolf-Yoga – or something else as equally narcissistic.   It won’t be anything like the usual types of yoga (not that I’m all that aware of the various types of yoga).  It won’t be a stretching-get-in-touch-with-your-pancreas type of exercise.  Its main source [...]

Ever since getting into show business (going to commercial auditions, getting up on stage to do comedy improv work), I’ve been told to brace myself because the only popular roles for men are characters who are idiots and clowns. The stereotypical dad, personified by people like Elliot Gould, who played Monica and Ross’  socially clueless [...]

Having become completed disgusted with the (lack of) water pressure in my apartment, and having gotten so tired of uselessly swearing at the severe temperature swings when trying to have a shower, I decided to explore the internet for some decent apartments.  I want a step up this time, and want not just good consistent [...]

  Last night the inner child came out to play.  I was thinking about that seemingly ridiculous saying “if you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything”.   Of course it doesn’t sound so ridiculous when you’re suffering from an illness and you think “if I had a million dollars right now I’d still [...]

Harvest Moon Howl

Posted: September 23, 2010 in ADHD, humor, Life
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Guess what? I’ve got some new readers! And guess what else? They’re my work mates! And you know what that means: No more selling heroin in the corporate washroom No more talking about sleeping under the desk (hey Costanza:  you had a great idea buddy.  Pity it didn’t work out.  For you or for me.) [...]

When Twitter first made an appearance, I thought:  “big deal.  You can only write 140 characters.  It is even possible to say anything meaningful in such a short space?” Apparently, given the popularity of this social networking tool – it is.  Having such a tiny space in which to share stuff has provoked a lot [...]

Hey gang! I couldn’t look myself in the mirror if I didn’t do my due diligence to the blogging community by forgetting to point out some great writers here.  (I’m not sure if that last sentence had enough negatives in it.  Hopefully you know what I mean. )  Anyway – most of you know each other and [...]

Impaired Help Desk

Posted: August 15, 2010 in humor

The jury is out, busily arguing with each other, and ready to head into the realm of fistfights over this one. When you’re drunk, are you better at socializing? I’m frankly don’t know.  But it sure seems likely. But it begins and ends at socializing.   You end up saying whatever occurs to you, as little [...]

************************************************** News Item:  Russian Spies Prove to Be Amateurs  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/world/us_and_canada/10564236.stm ************************************************** Natasha was livid. “Boris!  This password isn’t working!  You said COME2ME_MYDARLING was it.  I’ve typed it in five times and it won’t let me in.” A dumpy-looking man glanced up from his newspaper, pencil mustache twitching in annoyance.   “I told you darlink.  I changed it last [...]

Hot E-Book

Posted: June 21, 2010 in humor, Life
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Sitting near the back of the bus, I had a clear view of the girl, as she sat at the front.  Her face was as busy as it gets, as she thought through various possibilities, reactions, memories and events.  It was hard not to smile.  She was doing what I do – her mind was processing at [...]

Watch yer gramma

Posted: June 20, 2010 in humor, Life, writing

I don’t know why but it tickles the hell out of me when someone gets all ornery and persnickety about something and then fires off all cannons, like so: Well did another day of hoop jumping. I know for a fact that Rogers are stupid, have no COMMON cents! This is no lie. Common cents [...]