German Girl

Posted: March 10, 2010 in dating, Life, romance
Tags: , ,

As long as I can remember, I’ve been a little awkward around girls. 

You’d think, when you have four sisters, a grandmother and a mother all living under the same roof as yourself, that you’d have an easier time with the opposite sex.  Wouldn’t you?  

The first girl who ever called me her boyfriend thought I was hot stuff.  I had no point of reference (I had four sisters, you see, all of whom felt the opposite of their older sibling), so didn’t really know what that meant.  It felt good, hearing her say it though.  The first time we were together, we had stayed late in the library after school.  I was fourteen and she was thirteen.

The librarian didn’t know we were there, so he shut off the lights and went out of the locked door, leaving us alone among the bookshelves.  I even remember the book we were looking at.  It had something to do with Hippocrates.  Neither of us was that interested in the book, even though we had decided to sit down on the floor with our backs to the wall and read it together.  It gave us an excuse to be close.  We were both aware we were doing something wrong, just by being in that place without adult supervision.  I suppose it added to our excitement.

We knew we liked each other but… that age, I have to tell you, we were pretty damned innocent about everything.

We walked home, holding hands, and we didn’t do anything else.  I mean, nothing else.  At all.

I wanted to go all the way home with her but she stopped and looked at me.

“I’m not allowed to have boyfriends until I’m at least sixteen” she said.

I frowned, and she smiled.  “But you can walk me this far, at least.”

“Ok” I said, pleased that she wanted me to do that.

“So, OK” she said.

“Ok.”  I looked down at my running shoes.  “See you later, I guess.”

“See you.”

The tension between us was electric.   Amazing, isn’t it, how so much can be said, even with few words.

The next day, I walked her part way home at lunch hour.  We stopped at the designated stopping area (as defined by her) and she looked at me in exasperation.  Then, to my shock, she stood on her toes and kissed me.

It was a completely chaste, closed-mouth kiss.  But man!  It was a *kiss*.

I was blown away for the rest of the day.  My emotional cheese slid completely off of my cracker.  And like *that* my worldview changed.  We became an item.

We found excuses to be with each other, whether at band practice, or at church.  Often we sat at the front of the church sanctuary, both of us at the piano.  We’d play some music, or I’d play and she would sing.  And then we would sit on the piano bench, me facing the piano and her facing the pews, and we would just kiss.  In church.  How God must have been horrified at this use of His Sanctuary.   Doesn’t matter that they continued to be chaste kisses – I’m certain He was scandalized.  To this day I don’t know why He didn’t just reach down and slap us both with a mild lightning bolt or two. 

I remember standing at my locker when she was in the classroom nearby, talking with her friends.

“So what is with him anyway?” someone asked her.  “On a scale of one to ten, how do you rate him?”


One night, we were out walking in the rain, just after church.  We walked as close to each other as we could get, our arms wrapped around each other beneath her see-through umbrella with the yellow trim.  We got to the designated stopping area, and once again, we gave each other the longest chaste kiss there is on record.  (To be fair, we had seen open-mouthed kisses on TV but we didn’t know how it worked.  We tried it once, and we were both freaked out by it, and dissolved into laughter).   I remember her perfume – it had a lemony scent to it. 

Years later, when walking down the street, sometimes someone will go by, wearing that same scent, and it brings me right back to that night in the rain, kissing my first girlfriend.

  1. Cinnamon says:

    *just smiles for miles*


  2. Abe says:

    Awesome and vivid memory, Doug. Takes me back to those early days of discovery Very good.


    • I had no intention of going here actually. Funny how that works, isn’t it? I had something else all planned out in my head but for some reason, this is what needed to be written.

      I actually like when that happens.

      Thank you for your thoughts, Abe. You said it takes you back – so I’m looking forward to reading your blog about your early experiences. :)


  3. Momma Fargo says:

    Oh, the joys of first love….


  4. Randy says:

    The first one(s) are always the best. Always. Thanks for taking me back (you KNOW I just sat here staring at the wall for 5 minutes ;)

    And, “How God must have been horrified as [sic] this use…”. Not at all! It was pure, innocent, untarnished, natural love. Exactly what He wants to see. Doesn’t matter where.



    • Yes, I was being – I don’t know – sarcastic? Ironic? Not sure – when I wrote that. He made us this way, so really it’s His fault we were making out in church. He gets full credit/blame for that. He ought to have known better than to create us with these feelings and urges and stuff.

      The first one for me was the best, I think. (Life’s not over yet so I can’t say for certain) :)

      Thanks for chiming in! And thank you *very* much for the catch on that wording. I’ve made the change.


  5. Roger's Place says:

    Loved it!


  6. Just Me says:

    Wow, I wish I had that kind of memory. Well told and it’s all too true, there is nothing quite as sweet and innocent as first love and that first kiss. Well done!


    • It was the best of first experiences, which is probably why I remember it so vividly. Even though we eventually went our separate ways, I never forgot her.

      And thank you for your comment! :)


  7. Leslie says:

    I know that folks often frown on their work being described this way, but I mean it in the best of ways. This is sweet.

    And frankly, I can’t imagine that you are awkward around girls.

    That’s sweet too.


    • Leslie – thank you! I’ll never frown at the idea of the story (or any of my stories) being sweet or any other non-macho descriptor. *grin* So I appreciate very much what you said.

      The thing is – I never intended this particular story to come out as it did. And I had much more to say but once that last line was written, I knew that adding anything more would have been wasteful. It was fun going through this experience.

      A lot of blogs take a lot of work, but this one …. well this one almost wrote itself. My only requirement was to remember.

      Thanks again!


  8. contoveros says:

    This came straight from the heart. From you to all of us and it touched the memory that I still carry.

    German girl huh? Somehow, I always ended up with Irish ones. All Catholic. All innocent. Until graduation. And, of course, that is another story, another memory.

    I feel lighter and happier having read this. thanks.

    michael j


    • Irish, huh? You know, I’ve always wanted to go to Ireland. Primarily because of the grade-school crush I had on an Irish teacher back then. Ms. Donovan. She had the tinkliest little laugh ever, and her accent was just enchanting. She charmed me. :)

      Looking forward to reading about your memory. :)


  9. Susan says:

    This reminded me so much of my first love. Our first “dates” began at the library with half-walks home too. That first kiss was still in my top 5 kisses of all times. Our relationship also began at age 14 and, sadly, he moved away when I was 16. Oh how my heart was broken. I still think of him when I ride by the park where we used to hang out and the school we attended together. I still remember how we met, having lockers beside each other. Gosh, he was such a doll. After he moved, I searched for him for years. There were some family issues that caused him to move abruptly and making him impossible to find. Any time I was suffering a bad break up or a hardship, I’d search for him… about once every 5 years or so. I remember after Hurricane Katrina, lonely and rebuilding my life, I wrote a blog about him on myspace and one of my readers was super savvy on locating people and she found him for me. We got back in touch and even visited, he lives in Florida… long story short, we had grown up to be 2 very different people but it was great to have finally found him and it meant the world to me that I was still as significant in his life and memories as him to mine! We are now very good friends and stay in touch. I enjoyed reading this. It brought a smile to my face. Do you know anything about her today?


    • Ha! I wondered if anyone would ask that. (By the way – it was good to read about your experience Susan. Thank you for that!)

      Yes, I held the same fondness for her over the years, and in fact we lived in the same city together. She went her way, got married and had kids, and I went my way. When we were in our twenties we worked for sister organizations, so we got together for lunch a few times but that was that. Eventually, her husband died of brain cancer. A year after that we got together for a coffee date and we reminisced about how crazy we were about each other back then. But, she had become a different person and so had I, so there was no rekindling of the flame unfortunately. We don’t stay in touch anymore, mostly (I think) because we hold such wildly different views on religion. But that’s a whole blog (religion, not her) in itself. :)


    • contoveros says:

      Wolf and Susan,

      I never saw my earliest “flame” after one wonderful weekend had come and gone. Never met again, Had no contact since we lived in different neighborhoods and, at age 12, did not know about public transportation or even to think of swapping phone numbers. Come to think of it, I don’t think i discovered the telephone until age 14!

      Love to see her, Geraldine McFadden. See, by using my real name, I can drop the names of others, unless they get a good lawyer and sue for alienation of affection.

      Great stories from both of you. Something special about the innocence, the purity, the opening of the heart for another person for the first time.

      thanks again,

      michael j


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s