Last night the inner child came out to play. I was thinking about that seemingly ridiculous saying “if you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything”. Of course it doesn’t sound so ridiculous when you’re suffering from an illness and you think “if I had a million dollars right now I’d still be miserable and wouldn’t be able to enjoy it.” So, in a sense, the saying is somewhat valid. Let’s just say it’s one of the prerequisites for everything else.
Still, the kid wanted to play. And so I tried to post something to my Facebook page which was too long, so I had to truncate it. The following is what I wanted to post. Abe replied with an addition, and then I added some more. Feel free to add your own.
You have everything, if you have your health.
And $15 million dollars.
And a beautiful spouse. With a big house.
And a wine cellar.
And a speed boat.
No, a schooner.
Wait. No. A luxury yacht.
That’s it. If you have these things, then you have everything.
Wait. No. A rocking bod. If you have these things, and a six-pack, then you have–
And an infinity pool. Behind the big house.
Big houses. An infinity pool behind all six…sixteen of your big houses, which are all around the world.
That’s it. If you have all these things, and your health, then you have…..
And an island. If you have all these things, and an island where you can paraglide.
Then you have everything.
(And maybe some grapes, fed to you by your beautiful spouse)
…..wait…I’m not finished….
And a mountain named after you…
…with a castle on it
…that you live in
…when you feel like it
…and the castle has a winding staircase….
….and a fireman pole that you can slide down when you don’t feel like walking…..
….and there’s a pride of lion cubs, for playing with, and for taking care of the rats…..
…and a freshwater moat all around that doubles as yet another swimming area….and trees with lights that shine down, with built in speakers that plays the best music……
….and this is all located in a place down south where there’s never any winter……
..then you have everything
View from a Wolf 
…and a personal flight suit that you can strap on and fly really fast
…and at least one friend…maybe more
…and a hundred trained doves that are released every time you walk into a room and they fly around and then go back to their cages to wait for the next time you walk into a room
…or they could be trained butterflies
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…..with five women who follow me everywhere….
…..each carrying a boombox…..
…..that is perfectly synced with each other…..
…..playing “we are the champions” ……
…..and “I’m a man”…….
would I have everything then?
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Yes, then and only then would you and Abe have absolutely everything! (Can I be one of the girls holding a boombox? Or, wouldn’t we want to just use our iPad’s?)
We can figure out the details later — but yes, I’m sure, then you’d have everything!
Carmen (“We are the Champions” — AWESOME)
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Yes, you’re definitely on the list, Carmen. iPads aren’t strong enough to carry the beat across the neighbourhood. Has to be a boombox.
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Ha! Don’t I wish. Great list…
and don’t forget fluffy the dog to retrieve your newspaper and a beer occasionally.
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I would need a dog genetically engineered to have opposable thumbs so that he could open a bottle of wine, pour a glass and bring it to me.
Not sure I need him to get a newspaper, since everything I read now is electronic.
BUT….I could use a morphing wall that becomes glass and displays the news – video or written – upon voice command. That might work.
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…And filters the crap out about useless ‘celebrities’ and things that should never have even been ‘news’ in the first place!
And a few wild animals that you can go to the window and spot and go “Ooh! There’s a buzzard there! And a Honey Badger!!”
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Yes. Thank God for filters. We need them. If I never read another word about Britney, or Charlie or Mr. Brown I’ll be a happy camper and really will be on the road to having everything.
I’ll accept all animals too. Except seagulls – and other flying crap-monsters. And my island will allow for pesticides too. So…no weeds. And I’ll employ all kinds of anti-bug chemicals too. No government will tell me I can’t. Because I will be the government, on that island.
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Ha!
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:)
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