Guess there’s no point asking her out now

Posted: July 15, 2016 in humor, humour, Life, truth-telling
Tags: , ,

It’s late on a Thursday night, and I should have known better. Too late. A generous amount of Ravenswood Chardonnay has completed its magic, and my head is doing that bob-bobbing thing it likes to do, as the bus trundles along on its merry way home.

I allow one foot to precariously follow the other as I weave my half-snapped way to an empty seat. There’s an attractive woman there, and she’s thoughtfully moved closer to the window, all the better to help me avoid having to climb over her to the only vacant spot left.

I plunk myself down in relief and prepare to slumber my way toward the final few miles to my home bus stop.

Only…. My nose twitches. And twitches again. Something is seriously amiss.

I look over at the woman next to me, who at this point is now obstinately staring face-forward. Desperate. Afraid. Anxious.

No. It can’t be.

But it is.

A more heinous ambience can’t be imagined.

This veritable tulip, this rose of the fairer sex has emitted a soulful and delicate silent backfire, no doubt hoping against hope for the gain of anonymity.

Yet it was not to be. For I, the seeker of lost passions and artifacts of renown, have found her out. She is but a ghost to most, but is to me she is as the stop sign to eternity’s perfume.

Still, gallant man that I am, I labour to keep her dread secret, if only to preserve my status as gentleman and appreciator of all that is good and right in the world. My nose has other ideas. My nose is offended.

I open my drunken mouth, and hesitate.

Then, “ew.”

oops_sorry

Comments
  1. contoveros says:

    Holy shit!

    I don’t think I would ever have said that. You see, I drink red wine and stay away from buses.

    Michael J

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Eileen says:

    Did she dart or have BO?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Eileen says:

    *fart

    Damn autocorrect!

    Like

  4. darlenebloggityblogger says:

    OMG! LOL… Hilarious! I’m still laughing!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sam Sassypants says:

    You okay Wolfie? You’re missed. That fart wasn’t deadly was it?! Hopefully you’re just enjoying Summer! xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

    • wolfshades says:

      Thanks for checking in, Sam! I’m okay – just needed to step away from Facebook. It was sucking up too much of my time, and I found I was getting too angry all the time (discussion about politics and in particular, about Trump). Needed to step back.

      I’m also getting rid of my cable TV too. Looking at trimming all of the time sucks in life, so I can concentrate on writing my book (among other things).

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bluntessa says:

        Hooray! That’s good news and I totally feel ya. I’m in the same boat, though making that call to cut the TV cable still hasn’t been made yet. Gahhh. I keep coming up with silly rationalizations to keep it and make my wallet scream & cry every month needlessly. *facepalm* I did finally cut one of my landline phones (of 24 years) saving me $70 a month and restoring my sanity in/of no more BS constant ringing for solicitations (and political calls). Ahhhh. Why did I lag on THAT?! I suspect I’ll feel the same after finally cutting the TV too. Yet, I still lag & rationalize. Blah.

        So happy to know you’re well and taking the bull by the horns. Stay well my friend and may the words flow effortlessly in your writing (which you are so admirably brilliant at). Much love to ya!

        Like

        • Bluntessa says:

          Haha… WordPress used my old alter-ego from my phone. Dumb Phone… not “Smart Phone.”

          Meep. Meep. *anvil drop* Teehee.

          Like

        • wolfshades says:

          Same to you, Sam!

          You’re just now cutting back on your landline? Wow, you’re one of the few people I know who’ve kept it this long. I got rid of mine back in 2001, and never looked back. Figure I’m going to cut another $150 or so when I get rid of my cable TV – and all of the packages that I originally bought, just so that I could keep up with certain programs.

          Wait. You got rid of *one* of your landline phones? How many do you have, girl??? : )

          Like

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