When I’m doing my yogic meditation I sometimes get some insights. Guess that’s what happens when you stop concentrating on yesterday’s history, or tomorrow’s fears. Although something tells me it’s far more than just sitting in the present that does it. But that’s a debate for later.
Have you noticed how many people are completely losing their shit lately? Maybe it’s the media playing all of them up, but it sure seems there’s a lot more than there used to be. More noticeable is that all forms of media, including mainstream and social, are uniformly angry, negative and divisive.
It came as a surprise to me to learn I’ve been a very negative person. If someone has something they want to share, I’ve shared the flip side of whatever they’re saying. I’ve seen the hiccups and failures. Way too many of them.
Only lately have I noticed that some people, after hearing my negativity, have shut up and stopped sharing. That was a brutal surprise. But welcome. It seemed a good idea to figure out how to reverse that.
This all came to a head earlier today. Noticing that the building’s office was open and the light on, I decided to pay the superintendent a visit, just to say “hi” because we’re friends. There was another tenant in the office with him, but they were just joking around, so I felt free to jump in.
The other tenant mentioned he doesn’t talk about people behind their back. He said he noticed that a lot of people do. He added “Average people talk about things and people; intelligent people talk about ideas.”
I’m not sure I agree with that, but as the topic was germane, I didn’t argue. Instead, I offered something learned this morning from Reddit:
A woman mentioned a habit she now does regularly: if there’s something positive she’s heard about someone, she makes a point of telling that person what was said. She said it makes them feel so good to know.
That story pinged for me so I plan to do the same. Instead of looking for the “gotchas” about anything good, I’ll just look for the good that I can share. I told the guys this, and my superintendent said “Sounds good.” Then, looking at the other tenant, he laughed and added “I still think you’re an asshole.”
I added “But everyone I know says you’re a lovely one though.” : )
View from a Wolf 
I love the last line! Ha! I remember once telling a friend that she tends to be extremely negative – always the pessimist, the glass is always half empty – always the downer… and she literally burst into tears because she could not believe that was my perspective of her. I swear to God, she changed immediately after that. Not because of me, but because she just was not aware of the constant negativity she was dishing? I wonder if when we’re younger, we learn that somewhere along the line from some adult and it just becomes a habit? Because honestly, that was like 10 years ago, and she’s the most positive, refreshing and optimistic person I know now. I’ll never forget how quickly it happened!
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Fascinating story about your friend, Carmen – her reaction mirrors my own. Sometimes I suppose we’re just too close to everything to be able to see the bigger picture. Certainly was true in my case, and it sounds like it was for her too.
I think you’re right: We learn to be negative as a result of becoming an adult. It’s definitely a learned reaction: kids generally aren’t so negative. I’m using yoga to strip away as much of that learned nonsense as possible. The result is I’m finding so much joy in little things lately. Any expression of love get me a little emotional: a man bending down to tie the shoes of another man with mental health issues; someone stopping their work to help someone who is struggling; or just videos of dogs playing happily with their owners. There is just so much joy in this world – but many of us can’t see it because we’re too ensconced in our nest of main stream and social media – all of which are just chock full of negative nonsense.
I’m truly not a conspiracy theorist, Carmen, but can’t help noticing that all of the MSM articles seemed designed to divide us, and make us miserable.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but fuck that. I prefer having the optimism and joy we experienced as kids.
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Well, I want to believe that technology, along with all it’s positives, has consequences. I don’t think Main Stream Media is out to get us, but I do think the around the clock bombardment of information and the ease as which we get it nowadays, is a consequence that eventually we need to figure out.
But yes, finding joy and positivity is something we have to work at – because for some reason, it’s so much easier to fall into sadness and negativity than to rise up and see JOY. That’s what my whole show is about… all about the joy! Finding the silver lining, the light, the positivity. Ha! Sounds so hokey when I write it like that.. but yeah, it’s my every day. Trying to authentically in a place of positivity instead of negativity! 🤗
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That’s really telling it like it is with no punches pulled.
I loved the woman’s new approach to telling someone something positive she heard said about them.
The same thing could be said about Blog posts. A woman named Carmen said that she really loved the last line of your post.
I did too.
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Thank you so much Michael! : ) You my friend are such a joy to read – it’s why I enjoy hanging out with you and Carmen.
That woman’s approach genuinely moved me; I hadn’t thought of doing what she does but will from now on. Bringing joy to people is so much more satisfying than winning an argument from them. (Not that there’s no room for argument – just that it shouldn’t be how we define ourselves, IMO.
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