Whirling and whirling

Posted: January 24, 2012 in ADHD, Life
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

*thinking*  “Shoot, I’m late.  Better call a cab.”

“Wait.  I’m not nearly ready and if I rush I’m going to forget something.  Better get everything together first, then when I’m about five minutes from being ready – THEN call.”

“Good.”  I nodded to myself.  “Smart thinking”

I ignored the brightly coloured fairy lights flitting around in my brain and set to work. 

Lunch?  “Don’t need it – I’m buying a sandwich when meeting with a friend today.  So… check.”

Boots?  “It’s cold out.  Got ’em right here”  *Slips boots on.*

Coat? “Right here”

Gloves? “Check”

Hat?  “Check”

Anything else?  “Wait.  iPad.  Can’t forget the love of my life.”

Laptop for work?  “Got it in the laptop bag.  I’ll put the iPad in with it.”

iPhone?  “Got it.”

Call the cab.  “Ok.  I’ll connect up with my bluetooth earpiece and talk to them while doing a last minute check around the place.”

*Calls cab.*

I go out.  Lock both locks on the door and walk down the hallway to the elevator.  An older woman smiles at me.  I nod back and say “hi there.”

I hear the elevator.  *Ding!*

The door opens.  Something twigs in my brain – so I ignore the elevator and go back to my apartment.   Unlock both locks and walk through the apartment with my boots on.  Grab the new combination lock so I can head to the gym today.  (Lost my last one on my trip to Tofino).

Re-lock the apartment and, as the elevator opens, my phone rings.  I tap the bluetooth earpiece and hear “hi there.  You called for a taxi?”

“Yup.  On my way down now.”

I jump in the cab and,  just as it leaves the on-ramp and hits the highway, I realize that I forgot my security card for work.   So I think “nevermind.   I’ll just have to find a public washroom if I need it, and make sure that I don’t leave the building after 4:30 (unless going home) because I won’t be able to get back in.”   Good.  It sucks, but at least it’s a plan.  I’m not spending the money to tell the cab to go back.

And…just as I get in the door at work I realize that my security card is safe in my laptop back.  I forgot it was there.   “Oh good.” I think.  ” Serendipity.  Thank God for small blessings.”

I get to my desk, plug in the laptop, secure it to the locking cable and turn it on.

I sit back and, after waiting for it to boot up, I finally see the login screen. 

Sort of.  It’s kind of hard to read.

Ah.  I need my glasses.   I reach into my pocket.  Earphones, iPhone….. no glasses.   “I wonder where they are?”   

They’re sitting on the counter at home.  Right where I left them.

I think “what the fuck is WRONG with me?” 

“Why is my brain such a massive blur today?

“Did I take my ADHD meds?”

I did.  It was almost the first thing I did today.

Good thing I have an doctor appointment for tomorrow – because it looks as though they’re not working anymore.

I think “well, I’ll have to buy some reading glasses from the pharmacy across the street.” 

So I do.  Bring them back and sit back down to the computer. 

Uh oh.  There’s a plastic thing securing them – I’ll have to cut it off. 

I get the scissors,  cut the tag and put them on. 

My vision is blurry. 

So I take them off, clean them, put them back on. 

Still blurry. 

Take them off and look at them.  There’s a big scratch across one of the lens.  Apparently when I cut the tag, I was way too impatient.  Pretty much madly assaulted the $35.00 glasses during my haste to use them – and now they’re worth nothing.

Put them back on and decide to use them for the rest of the day.

Later, I meet my friend for lunch.  She says about seven things in the space of a paragraph, and as she says EACH.INDIVIDUAL.THING – my brain captures a relating thought, all of which I want to say to her.  When she stops speaking, I can’t remember a single one of them.

Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

  1. Interesting to always read/see things through your eyes. I know this is teaching me about ADHD, but I swear I just had a morning like this TODAY! WOW!


    • wolfshades says:

      Hi Carmen. Not fun at all is it?

      I have to tell you: I was really grateful there was an online test to see if I might have it (it doesn’t pretend to diagnose – it just gives you enough info to tell you whether it’s worth your while to see a doctor to see for sure). http://totallyadd.com was a God-send. And it functions as a really good network of those of us who previously thought we were just struggling because of stupidity (ugh) or laziness – only to find that what we thought was a normal process is anything BUT that. There’s a doctor on that site who specializes in the study of it too, who provides some truly objective information.

      Anyway – I saw the doctor after posting this, and feel like I’m back on track. Things are running a lot smoother now. :)

      Good to see you!!


  2. contoveros says:

    Multi-tasking can be tough on people with or without a disorder. Why do we think we can juggle everything all the time every day without one mess up?

    Hope everything comes together for your appointment with the doc.

    michael j


    • wolfshades says:

      Thanks Michael. It went well, and I seem to be back on track. Really thought I’d responded to you much earlier though – which is sort of telling in itself, isn’t it? :)


  3. izziedarling says:

    Totally get this – ADHD makes me crazy!


    • wolfshades says:

      *nodding* It’s hard to explain to anyone else, who doesn’t have it, isn’t it? This was my attempt to provide a snapshot of a typical ADHD morning. Doesn’t nearly do it justice though: there’s like a whole raft of stuff not in there. Like the time I bought frozen food, got home, got distracted and forgot about it until the next morning when I discovered it had all thawed. Right there in the grocery shopping bag on the counter, not two feet away from the freezer.

      Or the too-numerous times I “lost” my keys and went nuts looking for them, opening drawers, checking pockets……and realizing that I needed both hands free in order to do a thorough search, so put my keys down to free up the one hand. (*duh*)

      And I didn’t mention the benefits: about how all of those bright shiny thoughts actually translate to some pretty amazing ideas and thoughts.

      None of which ever get completed, but still…..


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